How we can expect to see our kids in the not too distant future, thanks to an unlikely partnership of the more excitable elements of the "political correctness" lobby and their usual mortal foe, the tabloid press.

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All photographers and people planning staging public events should consider this very carefully. I would ask any of my fellow photographers reading this to raise their voices and help bring some of the fun back into our lives. A world where photographing children at public events becomes more trouble than it is worth - especially when every man, woman, child and pet salamander has a digital camera and a cam-phone - as well as being a poorer one would also be nearly impossible to manage. It would be administratively paralysing to fully comply with the present deluge of kneejerk regulation regarding photography in public. Most of this comes about through megaphone campaigning by tiny groups of career campaigners using the echo chamber and strobe light of 24/7 news to appear like mass movements. We would need to introduce legislation resembling the gun laws, where licenses were needed to own a camera, in order to even begin to consider any kind of compliance with this creeping malaise of petty and profoundly futile regulation.

And all this while we meekly accept being filmed without our consent by 4.2 million CCTV cameras. Britons are the most closely observed citizens on Earth with 1 CCTV camera for every 14 people.

Location: I am not permitted to reveal this.

Photographer: D'you think I'd tell you that?!